Episode 71 - Why it’s so hard to start new things
Welcome to the fourth mini-cast of this series that gives you a sneak peek into my new membership community, Shamelessly Smart.
So far we’ve covered finding your Big Thing, Impact Projects and your brain being a bit of a brat.
Today we look at the two main reasons why it’s hard to start something new:
Your brain will ALWAYS try to protect you from unpleasant emotions.
Your inner critic (a.k.a. you being a giant *sshole to yourself)
Listen to this mini-cast to learn how to work on things outside your comfort zone regardless of your brain and inner critic.
Full Episode Text
Episode 71 - Why it’s so hard to start something new
Welcome to this episode of the managing the smart mind podcast with Master Certified Coach Else Kramer, a.k.a. Coach Kramer.
Hello wonderfully smart human,
Welcome to the fourth mini-cast of this series that gives you a sneak peek into my new membership community, Shamelessly Smart.
So far we’ve covered finding your Big Thing, Impact Projects and your brain being a bit of a brat.
Today we look at the two main reasons why it’s hard to start something new.
Here’s number one: your brain will ALWAYS try to protect you from unpleasant emotions.
It’s a bit like an overprotective mother - it wants to smother you with safety rather than let you roam in a dangerously unpredictable world.
So as soon as you want to do something you’ve never done before it will come up with a thousand reasons why you shouldn’t.
This is why so many people never even START doing that thing they desire to do.
If you want to experience your brain in this role try this thought experience.
Imagine giving everything up and moving to the South of Spain to become a goat herder, cave painter, refugee worker or whatever takes your fancy.
Notice what your brain does.
It immediately starts creating all the reasons and ‘arguments’ why this is an incredibly bad idea.
It does the same thing when you want to try anything new - though it may not be as obvious.
So be prepared - and be ready to let it prattle on whilst doing the scary thing anyway.
The second reason it’s so hard to start is your inner critic.
You’ve probably started things in the past and not finished them.
Or failed.
And then you’ve beat yourself up about it.
Now failing is uncomfortable enough as is - but if on top of that you’re also being a giant asshole to yourself then it can become pretty unbearable.
If this is how you treat yourself, you are probably terrified of what you’ll do if this new venture doesn’t work out the way you hoped.
You know your inner critic is going to use it to remind you of all the ways in which you suck.
And that is definitely something to avoid.
But staying in your comfort zone isn’t the right way to avoid it: that will eventually take all the joy out of your life.
You have to stop beating yourself up.
Contrary to popular opinion giving yourself a stern ‘talking-to’ is not the way to success.
If it was, you’d be doing the things.
You need to have your own back.
To be loving and understanding and supportive when you try something and it doesn’t go as expected.
So you can lick your wounds, rest, recover, and get up to try it all over again.
This is how we roll in Shamelessly Smart.
You’ll learn how to manage that scared part of your brain.
How to silence that inner critic and start talking to yourself in a loving, constructive way.
That, in itself, is an invaluable skill to learn.
And it’s time to sign up. We have our first kick-off call this Monday.
Go to www.coachkramer.org/shamelessly-smart if you haven’t already, and then shoot me an e-mail to sign up.
And whatever you do, never, ever, again be an asshole to yourself.
Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer
Want to fall back in love with your life and work? Then I can help. DM me on LinkedIn, or Instagram to learn how you can work with me, or email me via podcast@elsekramer.com.
Thank you for listening to the Managing the Smart Mind Podcast, I love that at
the time of recording this, there are smart humans listening in 95 countries! I really appreciate you - do send me any questions or requests for topics you have. And if you enjoy the podcast I’d love for you to give it a five-star review so other smart humans can find it - thank you!