Best hack for your brain’s negative bias? Creating a compliment jar.

I am very aware how good celebrating our wins - however small - is for our mental health.

And I also know that this is VERY hard to do for smart humans.

I even have a podcast episode called ‘Why Celebrating Is Essential for your Mental Health’.

Guess what?

It gets way less downloads than the average episode.

Because - let’s face it - celebrating wins feels a bit cringe-worthy to most of us.

It can even feel incredibly uncomfortable.

And that is exactly why you have to do it.

You have to get comfortable looking at and acknowledging what you achieve.

Not just at what you failed at, fucked up, forgot.

You want to show your brain how you showed up.

How you took risks.

How you made a difference.

Now if you’ve been bullied in the past, or raised to ‘not stand out’, ‘not to think you’re better than other people because you’re so bloody talented’, etc. then this may be even more uncomfortable.

It may subconsciously not feel safe to own or claim success.

Which is even more reason to do it. Do it so you can slowly adjust your nervous system to owning your brilliance, grit, and whatever other wonderful stuff your being brings to this planet.

And you don’t need to start shouting it from the rooftops (although if you want to, I’m here for it and shall cheer you on!).

You can start with shouting it at your brain.

And a very simple, practical way of doing that is through creating a compliment jar.

A glass jar with printouts of compliments, or actual notes, people have given you.

It’s a great way of reminding your brain on a daily basis that in addition to being human and making mistakes, you also get things right.

That what you do, who you are, matters.

And because it’s a physical object it’s much harder for your brain to ignore.

Lacy's compliment jar filled with fan mail

My client Lacy Williams created one with fan mail from her readers - it sits on her table where she does her writing as a great reminder that her work is making a difference in the world.

Lacy's compliment jar filled with fan mail

Maybe you don’t have an inbox filled with fanmail yet - no matter.

Gather all the ‘great job’, ‘well done’, and ‘you’re awesome’ communications that have come your way.

You can even ask your loved ones to write down one thing they love about you, and let them put it in your compliment jar.

The best thing isn’t even the jar itself - it’s you having to read and receive positive feedback - rather than quickly skimming over it to fast forward to the negative.

Trust me - this is one of the best things you can do to improve your levels of confidence and joy.

So this weekend, get over your inner censor and BATHE yourself in compliments.

Gather them.

Print them.

Cut them out.

Read them - as if they’re gorgeous poems.

Fold them with love.

And put them in the jar.

Don’t forget to put the jar on your desk, to regularly top it up and to dip into it whenever you need a little lift…